Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
