how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
