i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
