he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
