Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
