No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
