I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
