so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
