Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
