just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
where are my eyebrows?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize