he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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