idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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