I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
