Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
why do cheetos always look like penises
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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