I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
