billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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