Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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