I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize