Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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