Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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