It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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