He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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