The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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