gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize