I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
