Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
