good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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