How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize