You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize