I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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