So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
