Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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