so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
