took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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