Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
