Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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