The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
