So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She announced her abortion via fbk
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
