I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
