i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
