Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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