am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
