dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
