You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
