first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Another day, another engagement, another cat
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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