yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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