I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
