New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
