these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize