So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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