ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
