you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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