It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
