TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
