She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
