i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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