this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
