Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
