pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
