i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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