id be glad to
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
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it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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