Kiss
Puke
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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