I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
