Bisexual people are plain selfish.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
