Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
